


Torment

by lionspride



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, Crushes, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, mentions of the other members, references to actual things that happened hehe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 04:44:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9584132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionspride/pseuds/lionspride
Summary: Taekwoon pushed Sanghyuk’s hand off his head with a frustrated huff. He knew he couldn’t win against Sanghyuk, and Sanghyuk loved the power he now held.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [sunshineinwriting](http://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineinwriting) for being my beta and making this sound better...after I kept bugging her to, haha.

“Aegyo? What should I do?”

“Oh~ Leo! Why are you so willing today?” Hakyeon asked in surprise.

“If I don’t hurry Hyuk will get mad at me for wasting time on broadcast.”

Sanghyuk hid his smile behind a mask of innocence. A couple months ago he had decided his reserved hyung should be more willing to participate in interviews and tv shows, especially in regard to aegyo.

Even Sanghyuk had to admit he might have gotten a bit too violent while suggesting Taekwoon be more outgoing, but the result of his discussion had led to a cuter Taekwoon. The fans definitely were enjoying the change.

Taekwoon made a hand heart toward the camera. Hardly aegyo, but it was a long shot from when they had been rookies and Taekwoon would try to kill someone if the word aegyo was even mentioned.

Jaehwan willingly took over for Taekwoon and showed off his aegyo prowess. The contrast between his mastery and Taekwoon’s half-hearted attempts were comical, and Sanghyuk had to stifle a laugh at the thought of Taekwoon doing the aegyo Jaehwan was doing. Luckily their interview was coming to a close, so he didn’t have to play the innocent much longer.

“Real V!” Hakyeon said, prompting the rest of them to join in and finish their farewell greeting.

The cameras turned off and the members shuffled back to the changing room. Sanghyuk “accidentally” bumped into Taekwoon to get his attention. He nearly fell over, but the other wall in the hallway saved him. Oops. Sanghyuk sometimes forgot how strong he was.

“Ow!” Taekwoon whined exaggeratedly. Sanghyuk rolled his eyes as Taekwoon held onto his arm as if it was about to fall off.

“No one is around to see your act, _hyung_. I didn’t push you that hard.”

Taekwoon dropped the hand that was holding his arm and pouted slightly. Did he even know he was making that cute expression?

Sanghyuk couldn’t stop his lips from curling into a small devilish grin at the idea to tease his hyung into a full-blown pout.

“Hyung, what was that back there? Do you call that aegyo? Have you even practiced?” Sanghyuk casually stretched his arms out. If Taekwoon interpreted that as a threat to hit him, well that wasn’t his fault was it?

“I did!” Taekwoon protested. “I practiced like you told me, and I did aegyo like they asked!” Taekwoon’s face was a strange combination of indignation and apprehension that Sanghyuk was going to be mad despite his attempt at aegyo earlier. Pitiful though that aegyo was.

Sanghyuk moved his hand quickly toward Taekwoon’s head. He flinched, expecting the hit that never came. Instead, Sanghyuk petted Taekwoon’s soft, slightly too-long hair. He always left his hair to grow just long enough to fall in his eyes. Sanghyuk knew it was because Taekwoon secretly loved to hear the fans scream when he pushed his sweaty hair out of his face.

Taekwoon avoided Sanghyuk’s eyes, looking a bit to the right of Sanghyuk and blushing prettily.

“Yes, you did didn’t you? What a good boy our Daeguni is~”

Taekwoon pushed Sanghyuk’s hand off his head with a frustrated huff. He knew he couldn’t win against Sanghyuk, and Sanghyuk loved the power he now held.

Taekwoon hurried back to the changing room to catch up with the others. Sanghyuk stared after him for a moment before continuing down the hall. Taekwoon had been red up to the points of his ears that just poked through his messy hair.

~

Sanghyuk lay in bed staring up at the ceiling in the dark. If he was being honest with himself, it sometimes hurt when the other members thought he was going to be violent with them. It was useful when he wanted to have things go his way, though.

Up until their debut, and for a long while after, Sanghyuk had been subjected to the suffering that was admittedly to be expected as the youngest member of a group. Hakyeon had been especially clingy, always expecting him to be cute and energetic. Anything the other members got now from him, they had earned when they ordered him around back then.

Taekwoon hadn’t actually done much back then, but he had been scary. Sanghyuk chuckled softly. That stoic Taekwoon had turned into someone who would try to do aegyo when asked. Taekwoon was somehow becoming cuter as he aged, and the fans were noticing too. Sanghyuk fell asleep thinking of ears tinted red with embarrassment.

~

Sanghyuk checked the time on his phone. There was an hour before he had to leave, but he had gotten ready too early.

Sanghyuk entered his password and opened Twitter to pass the time until the manager came by to pick him up. His fingers typed Taekwoon’s name into the search bar, and Sanghyuk smiled in amusement at the pictures of Taekwoon’s arrival at the theater where his musical was performing. He had been swaggering so much that it looked like he had almost fallen over at one point.

Sanghyuk shook his head at his idiot hyung and tapped on a video of Taekwoon getting out of his van.

Taekwoon stepped out with a smile on his face. Sanghyuk was surprised when Taekwoon opened his mouth to say something proudly. He turned the volume all the way up and skipped back on the video to hear what he’d said.

“Hyuk is coming to see my musical today,” Taekwoon bragged to the crowd of fans gathered around.

Sanghyuk’s heart did a funny little flip. Why was that idiot telling everyone he was coming? It wasn’t a big deal or anything. He just didn’t have anything else he had to do.

The manager walked into the room. Sanghyuk hadn’t even heard the front door open.

“I’m here a bit earlyーHyuk, are you feeling okay?” The manager squinted at him as if he could see sickness emanating from a person.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“Your face is sort of red. I thought maybe you had a fever, butーOh! Were you watchingー?”

“No!” Sanghyuk nearly choked. “No, I wasn’t watching…that,” Sanghyuk finished lamely, blushing even harder. What would the manager have to say if he knew what he was actually watching? He didn’t want to even think about it.

“Right. I’ll just go get a drink of juice. We shouldn’t get to the theater too early.” Sanghyuk nodded absently as the manager headed to the kitchen.

Had he really been blushing? Sanghyuk didn’t want to use the cliche excuse that it was too warm in the dorm, but if that wasn’t it, that would mean he was blushing. While looking at Taekwoon.

Sanghyuk put the thought aside to examine later and padded to the bathroom to brush his teeth before they left.

Sanghyuk was glad he had the manager with him in the theater and that Starlights were pretty chill. After the first couple minutes of excited whispering and craning their necks, they had settled in to enjoy the musical, and Sanghyuk could relax a bit and pay attention himself.

The first time Taekwoon’s character shouted, Sanghyuk couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his mouth. Wow. Apparently Taekwoon could be loud in public if needed.

Sanghyuk was pleasantly surprised at Taekwoon’s acting, and found himself charmed by the other actors as well. He was so caught up in the story that he was surprised when rocks sank in the pit of his stomach during Taekwoon’s first kiss scene.

He supposed it was shocking, seeing Taekwoon kiss someone. It’s not like the older boy had had a girlfriend these past few years. They didn’t have the time.

Sanghyuk forced himself to get back into the story. He was rooting for the couple to have a happy ending, though it wasn’t looking promising.

The next time Taekwoon and the woman kissed, Sanghyuk had prepared mentally, reminding himself that Taekwoon was acting. But he noticed the tender way his lips played against the actress’. The kiss was gentle, yet conveyed a longing, a desire to kiss until the sun came up again. The actress pushed her fingers through Taekwoon’s hair, accentuating his sharp jawline. After what felt like an eternity, the two parted reluctantly from their kiss.

Sanghyuk couldn’t pay much attention for the rest of the first act. He was thinking about silky hair and soft lips. When the lights came up for intermission, he followed his manager in a daze to go backstage.

Backstage was a flurry of movement as everyone got ready for act 2. It was funny almost. Audience members see the intermission as a break time, but backstage it’s the busiest time, and Sanghyuk had to dodge a couple of clothes racks speeding past, a few set pieces, and a few half-naked ensemble members on his way to Taekwoon’s dressing room.

A makeup artist was finishing touching up Taekwoon’s face when Sanghyuk opened the door. Taekwoon’s expression lit up when he caught sight of Sanghyuk’s face in the mirror.

“Hyuk! How do you like it so far?” Taekwoon asked excitedly. Apparently Taekwoon got a rush from his musicals just like the one he got during concerts.

“It’s great.” Taekwoon smiled before Sanghyuk could rack his brain to think of something more intelligent to say.

“Come on,” Taekwoon said, rising from his seat. “I want to introduce you to the other cast members.”

“I don’tー” Sanghyuk’s protest was cut short by Taekwoon grabbing his arm to drag him to the other dressing rooms. Sanghyuk wasn’t sure he wanted to meet the other actors, but he let Taekwoon take him around. He noticed a bit dazedly that Taekwoon left his hand on his arm even after Sanghyuk was following willingly.

Sanghyuk ended up having fun meeting all the other actors, even the actress who played Taekwoon’s lover. They all treated Taekwoon like a little child, and he in turn acted much cuter than usual. Even cuter than when he drank.

When he met Taekwoon’s love interest, she treated him so well, and it was so obvious that she thought of Taekwoon as a younger brother or nephew, that it was impossible for Sanghyuk not to like her. They even laughed together about how embarrassed Taekwoon was the first few times they had practiced their kiss scenes. The older woman leaned in to whisper in Sanghyuk’s ear right before he had to leave to go back and watch the second act.

After they parted, Sanghyuk was sure his face was tomato-red. “What?” Taekwoon asked suspiciously, maybe even a little nervously. “What did you say, noona?”

“Nothing!” Sanghyuk yelped quickly. “I gotta go sit down, hyung, I'll see you later!” He quickly said goodbye to everyone and waved to Taekwoon before hurrying back to his seat in the audience.

Sanghyuk was distracted during the second act. He vaguely registered that it was very sad, but he was more concerned with what the lead actress had said to him. 

_“You know, Taekwoon brags about his Sanghyuk all the time. He always says just how cute you are.”_

Taekwoon bragged about _him_? And had said he was _cute_?!

The manager rushed Sanghyuk down to their car right after curtain call, and he was glad to escape. He washed up quickly and went to bed before Taekwoon got home.

In the following days Sanghyuk did his best to avoid Taekwoon, which was easy because he was busy with his musical performances.

He wanted to bother Taekwoon as usual. He wanted to make him blush and huff in frustration. Sanghyuk wanted to tease him until he exploded. Most of all, Sanghyuk wanted to ask why Taekwoon had bragged about him to the other cast members.

And he wished he could act on these new feelings he had discovered, but the thought of the disgust that would color Taekwoon’s features if he tried to kiss him twisted Sanghyuk’s stomach into a painful knot. Rejected before he even tried.

Sanghyuk was in love with Taekwoon. He was honestly surprised he hadn’t realized it earlier; Sanghyuk always tried to be someone that didn’t lie about feelings, especially to himself. He had the suspicion that he'd felt this way for a rather long time too. 

A week after the fateful performance, Sanghyuk sat staring at the wall of their living room, sipping on an Americano. The taste was too bitter for him, but the flavor matched his mood, and coffee always reminded him of Taekwoon.

The beep of the front door opening broke Sanghyuk out of his reverie, and he panicked because it could only be one person—all the other members were out at schedules. Should he just sit and be cool, or hurry into his bedroom? Before he could fully commit to one or the other, though, Taekwoon walked in the room, catching Sanghyuk in an awkward pose, half-on half-off the sofa.

“Umm,” Sanghyuk said intelligently.

Taekwoon moved toward him silently, and Sanghyuk couldn’t do more than finish standing up as Taekwoon took another step forward. And another.

Taekwoon was so close Sanghyuk could smell his current favorite cologne. He leaned in closer, and Sanghyuk instinctively closed his eyes, rational thought fleeing his mind.

Sanghyuk opened his eyes when he felt a small puff of air against his face. Taekwoon was laughing at him!

“You smell like coffee,” Taekwoon stated, taking a step back as if he hadn’t just almost kissed Sanghyuk.

Sanghyuk winced internally. Of course Taekwoon wasn’t going to kiss him! What a stupid thought.

Deciding to get control over the situation, Sanghyuk shoved Taekwoon hard in the chest. Not the most mature move, but he wasn’t exactly thinking straight at the moment. To his surprise, Taekwoon didn’t even budge. In fact, Taekwoon stepped forward. Sanghyuk lost his balance and fell back on the sofa. Taekwoon just moved in closer and bent down over Sanghyuk, trapping him by putting his hands on either side of him against the couch.

“You don’t like coffee.”

Sanghyuk avoided looking him in the eye.

“Hyuk,” Taekwoon said in a gentler voice. “Why are you avoiding me?”

Entranced by Taekwoon’s voice and proximity, Sanghyuk could feel his breath coming faster. _Maybe I should just tell him_ , he thought suddenly. Yes. He’d start out slow.

“Can we, um, talk, hyung?” Sanghyuk only managed to raise his eyes to the level of Taekwoon’s very distracting lips. Lips that Taekwoon licked before nodding and backing away slightly, only to plop down next to Sanghyuk on the sofa. Why was he so close? Sanghyuk couldn’t scoot further away without being obvious though, so he took a deep breath before speaking again.

“I realized something recently, and I guess I feel awkward about it.” Sanghyuk looked at his hands in his lap and felt Taekwoon nod next to him. _Just do it_ , he thought a little hysterically, and opened his mouth. 

“I’m…I’m gay.”

Sanghyuk felt Taekwoon stiffen next to him. He wanted to cover his face, curl up in a ball forever, jump off a cliff, anything but be here telling Taekwoon about these feelings, especially if Taekwoon was grossed out just by this part of his confession.

“Did youー” Taekwoon cleared his throat and tried again. “Did you just figure this out?”

Sanghyuk squeezed his eyes shut and slowly shook his head.

“Hyuk, it’s okay. You’re not the only one that likes guys around here, andー” Taekwoon cut off at the look Sanghyuk was giving him.

“Don’t give me that bullshit. I don’tーThat’s not whyー” Sanghyuk lost his anger and continued in a broken voice, “That’s not my problem.”

Taekwoon put his hand on Sanghyuk’s leg in what was probably supposed to be a comforting gesture, but was too much for Sanghyuk right now. It was both temptation and torture, and Taekwoon was trying to be nice, but Sanghyuk didn’t want nice from this Taekwoon. He shoved the hand off his leg.

“Don’t touch me,” Sanghyuk said, more coldly than he intended.

“Sorry, Iーsorry.” Taekwoon looked a bit hurt and lost. Sanghyuk felt like a bastard. “Do you want to talk about it? Maybe I can help,” Taekwoon suggested quietly.

Sanghyuk took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “There’s this guy.”

“Oh?” Taekwoon’s face flashed with an expression Sanghyuk couldn’t quite interpret, so he just nodded.

“Yeah. I guess I like him a lot.” Tears pricked at his eyes, and he blinked them back. “A lot,” Sanghyuk added, not knowing what else to say.

Taekwoon was silent for a beat.

“And this…guy…does he know you like him?” Taekwoon watched Sanghyuk’s face. Blushing under the intense scrutiny of that gaze, Sanghyuk mutely shook his head.

“Hyung,” Sanghyuk said, trying a different approach. “Do youーHave you ever liked someone?” He cringed at how young he sounded just then.

“Yes,” Taekwoon responded without hesitation.

“I mean besides that relationship you had before debut,” Sanghyuk clarified.

“Hyuk, I thought we were talking about you here?” Taekwoon said pointedly. He reached his hand out as if to touch Sanghyuk, but suddenly stopped, remembering Sanghyuk had said not to touch him.

“Would you tell the person? I mean, should I tell the person I like them?” Sanghyuk asked, suddenly feeling the age difference between the two of them. He really was young, wasn’t he?

Taekwoon leaned in close, making a shiver run down Sanghyuk’s spine. His focus suddenly narrowed to the proximity of Taekwoon’s lips to his cheek, and the faint breath he could feel against his skin. It felt like his heart stopped for a moment.

“Yes, you should tell him.” 

Taekwoon leaned back, the remainder of Sanghyuk’s coffee snatched up in his hand. He took a swig and got up, padding away to wash his face before bed. Sanghyuk blinked after him, totally dazed.

Taekwoon looked over his shoulder just before disappearing into the bathroom. “Goodnight,” he said softly.

“Goodnight,” Sanghyuk muttered. “I like you.”

The combination of late night coffee and his conversation with Taekwoon kept Sanghyuk tossing and turning all night. He woke up groggy the next morning, but with a fierce determination to go back to how things were before. Sanghyuk would treat Taekwoon as he had before and at least be near him as the maknae of VIXX.

A few days later they were shooting the MV for their next album. While other members were filming individual cuts, Taekwoon and Jaehwan pulled out some snacks to eat. Sanghyuk sidled up to them to see what he could mooch.

“Taekwoonie~ Did you bring any good snacks?” Sanghyuk singsonged, purposefully speaking informally. Taekwoon rolled his eyes and handed him a bread-type thing.

“Taekwoonie~ I want one too!” Jaehwan pouted cutely, also speaking informally. Instead of giving Jaehwan a snack though, Taekwoon neck chopped him. “Ow!” Sulking exaggeratedly, Jaehwan picked up his bag of snacks and retreated to another corner of the room.

Sanghyuk hid a smile and looked down at the snack, trying to remember if he’d ever eaten it before. “What is this?”

Taekwoon’s face lit up. “You don’t know? It’s really delicious, try it.”

“Looks like something old people eat,” Sanghyuk said, mostly to bother Taekwoon.

“Just because you’re a baby,” Taekwoon shot back defensively.

Sanghyuk grabbed the back of Taekwoon’s neck in a tight squeeze that Taekwoon shrank away from.

“Ah! That hurts!” Sanghyuk released his hold and Taekwoon grabbed his neck, still wincing exaggeratedly. “You used to be so cute. What happened?”

Sanghyuk bristled. “One, I wasn’t cute. Two, you guys always picked on me for being younger.”

“Did not,” Taekwoon protested. Sanghyuk was distracted for a moment by the way Taekwoon’s cute cheek puffs expanded when he got all huffy like this. He reminded himself to be normal.

“Sure. I still remember the time you made me help wash dishes even though you knew my wrist was still hurt.” Sanghyuk crossed his arms, knowing Taekwoon couldn’t have an excuse for that occasion.

“That time? I was protecting you. I just wanted you to be with meー!” Taekwoon cut himself off and turned away. Sanghyuk’s heart beat faster in his chest.

“Oh? Taekwoonie was pwotecting wittle baby me with his big stwong awms?” Sanghyuk teased.

“Shut up.”

“Is Taekwoonie mad at me? What are you going to do about it?” Sanghyuk expected Taekwoon to turn around and try to overpower him like usual. Not that he could beat Sanghyuk physically anymore.

He didn’t expect Taekwoon to just walk out of the room without looking back.

The director called for Sanghyuk to take his turn filming individually, and Sanghyuk went, wondering what that had been about.

~

The door to Sanghyuk’s bedroom opened, and he didn't look up, assuming it was Wonshik getting in from a late night at the studio. He nearly squeaked when instead Taekwoon crawled onto his bed. Correction, a shirtless Taekwoon crawled onto his bed.

After the initial shock, Sanghyuk tried to sit up, but Taekwoon’s hand pushed him gently back down, and the older boy shook his head softly.

Taekwoon had positioned himself above Sanghyuk, who found he was frozen in place, not quite sure what to expect. He opened his mouth to ask what was happening, but Taekwoon took that moment to swoop down and claim Sanghyuk’s mouth in a passionate kiss. Sanghyuk moaned into it, and his arms reached up to pull Taekwoon’s head in closer.

The kiss ended all too soon, and Taekwoon’s mouth started kissing downward, making his way in a wet path along Sanghyuk’s bare chest. When did he take his shirt off? Sanghyuk gasped when Taekwoon’s teeth scraped against his nipple, chasing all other thoughts away. Taekwoon let out a breathy chuckle at his response, and Sanghyuk would have blushed if he wasn’t so turned on by the sight of Taekwoon kissing every inch of bare skin on the way to Sanghyuk’s pajama pants.

Taekwoon slipped his hand underneath the pants and into Sanghyuk’s boxers. Sanghyuk groaned and reflexively ground up into his touch. Taekwoon’s fingers wrapped around him and pumped up and down andー

Sanghyuk awoke with a groan. He cursed at the stickiness in his boxers and threw his covers off, hoping he could wash up in the bathroom before the others all woke up.

Sanghyuk decided he might as well just take a quick shower. But seriously, a wet dream? Wasn’t he too old for that? He sighed in frustration as he scrubbed soap over his limbs.

Too bad that dream hadn’t been real though. Sanghyuk smiled and dried himself off with his towel. He did think that he would be the one initiating things, but being on the receiving end had been nice too. Sanghyuk blushed at his line of thought and shook his head. His imagination was getting away with itself. Wrapping the towel around his waist, Sanghyuk pulled open the door.

A sleepy Taekwoon stood in front of him, arm reaching out to open the bathroom door.

“Oh.” Taekwoon dropped his arm. Sanghyuk wanted to cover up his bare chest, but he resisted, somehow managing to keep a neutral expression despite his pounding heart.

Sanghyuk made a split-second decision to tease Taekwoon and lunged forward to put him in a headlock. Taekwoon sputtered and tried to shove him off, but he held on with a grin. Then there was a chill on his backside. His towel!

Sanghyuk released his hold on Taekwoon and dropped to the floor to pick up the towel, quickly wrapping it around himself. In the meantime, Taekwoon had escaped into the bathroom and slammed the door shut, locking it with a click. Oops.

Cursing under his breath, Sanghyuk hurried back to his room to change. Wonshik wasn’t there, so he must have spent the night in his studio—a small blessing, because it meant he didn't have to explain why his cheeks were red. Sanghyuk picked out a simple outfit and pulled it on before flopping back on his bed face down.

What the hell was he doing? It didn’t seem like the whole “acting normal” thing was going well. In fact, Taekwoon seemed to be actually getting annoyed at him recently, instead of his usual fake, overacted annoyance. Sanghyuk should just say something and get it over with. That might even help him stop feeling this way, but on the other hand, even if it wouldn’t make things royally awkward just for the two of them, he couldn’t do anything to jeopardize VIXX. Why couldn’t he have fallen for somebody, _anybody_ else? Like Sungjae? Sanghyuk almost laughed at that.

Somebody, probably Wonshik, knocked on the door.

“‘S open,” Sanghyuk said into the sheets. He rolled over to greet Wonshik properly, but sat up quickly when he saw it was Taekwoon. His hyung’s hair was still damp from his shower, and he hadn’t bothered to put a shirt on. Sanghyuk swallowed, Taekwoon’s bare chest reminding him vividly of his dream.

Taekwoon pushed his hair back and walked over to the bed. He sat down and flopped back, legs hanging over the side. What?

“Hyung?”

Taekwoon grabbed Sanghyuk’s arm, pulling him down so he was on his back in a pose identical to Taekwoon’s. They lay there in silence for a few moments, Sanghyuk getting more nervous by the second.

“About your crush…” Taekwoon started softly. Sanghyuk nearly squeaked, but managed a questioning _hm?_ Instead. “Did you tell him yet?”

“Oh, well, not exactly.” Sanghyuk sat up on the edge of the bed, and Taekwoon followed suit.

“Why?”

Because it’s you. Because it could destroy their group. Because it could make everything weird. Or everything could work out, a timid voice at the back of Sanghyuk’s mind chimed in.

“Because…I don’t even know if he likes guys, for one thing,” Sanghyuk admitted.

“He might.” Taekwoon paused. “I do, and most people wouldn’t expect that, right?”

Sanghyuk froze. Taekwoon _what_? He _likes guys_? Then maybe…?

Taekwoon laughed softly. “Is it that surprising?”

“Yeah. I mean, no.” Sanghyuk managed to look at Taekwoon next to him. “Yes, it is.”

“Well, there you go. Your crush might like guys too.” Taekwoon stood up and walked to the door. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob and turned around. “You should tell him soon though. He might not just wait around forever.” With that, Taekwoon opened the door and slipped out, leaving Sanghyuk not a little shellshocked.

Maybe there was hope after all? He groaned and flopped back on the bed.

~

A week later, VIXX piled into two cars and headed south for a festival in Daejeon. They had been there before of course, but they would have some free time in the evening, and Sanghyuk was excited to bring the members to a restaurant he’d loved growing up.

The festival was pretty fun. The members had plenty of time backstage to go visit with their friends from other groups, and the screaming audience boosted their egos. It was always nice to be reminded that even fans of other groups enjoyed their music, or maybe just their looks, but still.

VIXX was quick to change into regular clothes after the final stage, so they could leave the venue before there was a big rush of traffic. Sanghyuk looked at the members expectantly.

“So, we’re going to that restaurant I mentioned tonight, right?”

Hakyeon frowned. “I’m not going out for gopchang again.”

“Sorry Hyuk, I promised Sandeul and Jin we would hang out.” Jaehwan at least looked somewhat apologetic.

“Gongchan,” Hongbin said with a grin.

“Taemin and Iー” Wonshik started.

“Fine, fine!” Sanghyuk sighed dramatically. “Just forget I mentioned it. Maybe I’ll drop by home for a visit.”

Taekwoon coughed quietly. “I don’t have other plans.”

“Oh.” Heat flooded Sanghyuk’s cheeks at the thought of them going to a restaurant alone. “Okay, if you’re sure.”

Taekwoon nodded, and that was settled. The other members dispersed to find their friends for their various engagements, and Sanghyuk was left alone with Taekwoon.

“Ahem.” And the manager. “So you two want a ride to the restaurant?”

The car ride was quiet, bordering on uncomfortable, but their manager chatted with them now and again, keeping the mood light. However, when he dropped them off at the restaurant with a final warning about not being noticed or out too late, they were really alone.

They walked into the gopchang place, and Sanghyuk’s completely unnecessary nerves were comforted by the familiar surroundings. They sat at an inconspicuous table near the back, even though it was unlikely they would be recognized this far out of Seoul at a family-owned restaurant.

Taekwoon ordered for them, and Sanghyuk racked his brain for something to say.

“The festival was fun.” Sanghyuk winced at how childish he sounded even to his own ears.

“It was,” Taekwoon agreed. A server brought over a bottle of soju they had ordered, and Taekwoon poured Sanghyuk a shot. Before he could pour his own, Sanghyuk took the bottle from Taekwoon’s hands and poured out a shot.

“Cheers!” They both knocked back their shots in one go. The server came back with their meat, and they waited for it to cook.

Sanghyuk wondered if he should make a joke to lighten the mood, but without an audience for Taekwoon to be embarrassed in front of, teasing him wouldn’t be as fun. But maybe…

“The girls really went crazy at that one dance move of yours today,” Sanghyuk remarked casually. Taekwoon was caught off-guard and sputtered, cheeks turning pink. He knew exactly which part Sanghyuk was referring to. Taekwoon pretended to be distracted by the meat and shifted it around so it would cook evenly. Sanghyuk chuckled and poured out more soju.

This was nice, just the two of them having dinner. Sanghyuk was nervous at first, not knowing exactly what to say in the stretching silences, but as the soju worked its way through his veins, he relaxed. Besides, it wasn’t as if the two of them had never been alone before, and Taekwoon was comfortable with silence, responding easily whenever Sanghyuk commented on something. It was sort of funny how the more comfortable Sanghyuk became with the quiet, the more easily conversation came to him.

Before Sanghyuk was ready to go, the both of them had eaten more than their share of gopchang, and if Sanghyuk’s face was anything like Taekwoon’s, his cheeks were tinged pink from alcohol. Unable to excuse sitting around the restaurant when a line was starting to form, Sanghyuk sighed and pulled out his phone to call their manager.

“What are you doing?” Taekwoon asked, a slight slur to his words. They had had the same amount of soju, but Sanghyuk was definitely not as far gone as Taekwoon seemed to be.

“I’m calling our manager to pick us up,” Sanghyuk replied, already looking through his contacts to make the call.

“Don’t!” Taekwoon put his hand on Sanghyuk’s to prevent him from hitting the dial button. Sanghyuk looked down at his hand in confusionーshock? He wasn’t sure. Taekwoon looked a bit flustered. “I mean, maybe we could take a walk or something…to sober up.” He was mumbling by the end, and Sanghyuk fought to suppress a smile at how cute Taekwoon was at that moment.

“Sure. There’s a place with a great night view nearby we could go to.”

Sanghyuk was glad the weather was warmer than it had been in Seoul recently because neither of them had jackets with them. He also couldn’t help but think about what he might do if the weather was cooler. Taekwoon always got cold easily, and they were so close. He could just reach out his hand andー

“It’s cold!” Taekwoon whined. Sanghyuk’s heart nearly leapt out of his chest. Now that he mentioned it, it was cooler up at the top of the hill. Looking around, he also realized the only other people up here were couples. He should have known better. Sanghyuk snuck a glance at Taekwoon, but he didn’t seem to notice the couples.

“It’s pretty.”

“What?” Sanghyuk followed Taekwoon’s gaze. “Oh, the view?”

Taekwoon nodded. “So this is where you grew up.” Taekwoon was so quiet that Sanghyuk wasn’t sure if he was supposed to respond to the comment or not.

“This is one of my favorite places. I always wanted to come here with my bー” Sanghyuk stopped, alarmed at what he had almost said.

“With who?” Taekwoon turned his piercing gaze on Sanghyuk’s face.

Sanghyuk was caught in those eyes. “My boyfriend.”

Sanghyuk would have sworn Taekwoon smirked as he looked back at the scenery. A couple left a bench nearby, and Taekwoon started moving toward it. He looked back at Sanghyuk, making sure that he would follow him.

They settled on the bench, looking out at the city lights, their legs pressed lightly together. Taekwoon yawned his adorable yawn that reminded Sanghyuk of a sleepy kitty.

“Thanks,” Taekwoon said sleepily.

“For what?”

“For bringing me here.” Taekwoon closed his eyes. “And sorry,” he mumbled.

“For what?” Sanghyuk asked again, more quietly lest he wake Taekwoon as he drifted into a doze.

“For not being your boyfriend.” Sanghyuk’s heart flipped at Taekwoon’s wording. He wanted to wake him up and tell him that he wished Taekwoon was his boyfriend. He wished Taekwoon wanted to be.

Instead, he watched the way Taekwoon’s chest rose and fell steadily. He watched the way the breeze played in Taekwoon’s hair.

In that moment, it took most of Sanghyuk’s willpower to not lean over and steal a kiss like some cheesy romance story, and he had to fight the temptation to slip his hand into Taekwoon’s. Instead Sanghyuk allowed himself to bring his hand up and brush the hair out of Taekwoon’s face. The softness of it invited Sanghyuk to run his hands though the strands, but he dropped his hand back in his lap and balled it into a fist.

Taekwoon’s head drooped over and landed on Sanghyuk’s shoulder. He froze, looking straight ahead, but after a few moments he looked down at Taekwoon’s face. He looked so peaceful with a hint of a smile playing about his pretty lips. Sanghyuk bent over, lured in by those lips, so close to his now. It would be so easy… Taekwoon made a small noise, shifting in his sleep and waking Sanghyuk from hisーhopefully temporaryーinsanity.

Sanghyuk debated whether he should call their manager to pick them up before it got too late, but Taekwoon snuggled in closer to Sanghyuk’s side, trying to get warmer. Five more minutes, he thought, just five more minutes.

~

The days went by, and Sanghyuk tried to forget. He tried to push away the memories of his almost-date with Taekwoon. The thought that theyーheーcould never have more plagued his mind though, and despite efforts to be discreet in his torment, his distraction began to be obvious, even to Jaehwan.

After one day of practice when Sanghyuk just kept messing up the same part of their dance, Taekwoon pulled him aside to see what was wrong.

“Hyuk, what the hell are you doing?”

Sanghyuk flinched at Taekwoon’s tone, tears prickling at his eyes. Jeez, he needed more sleep. He was going to become a blubbering mess.

Taekwoon took in Sanghyuk’s expression and softened his tone. “Is this about that guy you like?”

Sanghyuk just nodded, lacking the strength to even deny it. Maybe he really should just say it and get it over with.

Taekwoon pulled Sanghyuk into an empty practice room nearby and sat Sanghyuk down in a folding chair before sitting across from him and looking straight into Sanghyuk’s face, apparently ready to get to the bottom of this problem.

“I don’t want to make you talk about this, but I think it’s gone far enough, Hyogi.” Sanghyuk looked up at the use of his nickname, and Taekwoon gave him a small smile.

Sanghyuk took a deep breath. “Hyung, can you promise that whatever I say, you won’t let it affect the group?” Taekwoon looked a bit surprised, but nodded. Sanghyuk waited.

“I promise,” Taekwoon said.

“Actually, that guy that I like? He’s a member of VIXX.” Sanghyuk looked at the tiny frosted window on the door to the room before chancing a peek at Taekwoon’s face. He couldn’t tell what Taekwoon was thinking.

“I know,” Taekwoon said softly.

“Yeah, wellーWhat? You _know_?” Sanghyuk stood up in his panic.

“You wouldn’t be freaking out this much if it was some other guy. Now sit down and finish.” Sanghyuk let Taekwoon pull him back down into his chair.

Sanghyuk squirmed, not sure if he should really go through with this. Taekwoon scooted his chair a few inches closer.

“Yeah, well he’s also my hyung.” Sanghyuk pouted as if that was a good excuse for not saying he liked someone.

Taekwoon rolled his eyes and scoffed. “You’re the youngest. Of course he would be your hyung.”

“Right. Well.” Sanghyuk cast about for another way to stall. Then he made the mistake of looking into Taekwoon’s eyes.

“Tell me?” Taekwoon was looking straight into Sanghyuk, and he felt so vulnerable. Taekwoon could probably see the words _I love you_ written across his soul.

In one last streak of stubbornness, Sanghyuk started spitting out words. “He’s old and stupid and childish and can’t do aegyo and only knows how to sing and play soccer and always gets embarrassed andー”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Taekwoon said calmingly. Sanghyuk covered his face with his hands, crying like an idiot, all of his emotions spilling over in an exhausted tumble. Taekwoon pulled Sanghyuk’s hands from his face, staring earnestly up from where he was on his knees in front of Sanghyuk. The warm smile on Taekwoon’s face sent a shock of hope through Sanghyuk’s tired body.

“You make me sound like such a catch,” Taekwoon teased. Sanghyuk tried to cover his face again, but Taekwoon held his hands down, reaching up to wipe the tears from Sanghyuk’s cheeks. “When did you finally figure it out?”

“Finally?” Sanghyuk asked, confused. “Wait, did you _know_?”

Taekwoon smirked and rose to his feet. Sanghyuk jumped up and grabbed his arm.

“You _knew_? And you let me _suffer_ like that?” Sanghyuk accused.

“You could have just confessed if you didn’t want to suffer,” Taekwoon replied simply.

“What kind of sick, horribleー” Taekwoon stopped Sanghyuk’s mouth with a kiss. 

It was over much too soon and left Sanghyuk more senseless than it should have. He leaned forward for another kiss, but Taekwoon put a finger to his lips.

“You didn’t actually say you like me, you know.”

Sanghyuk blushed, reluctant to say the words aloud. “I like you,” he managed, moving forward to reach Taekwoon’s mouth.

“Like?” Taekwoon said with an eyebrow raised, sparkle in his eye as he pulled his lips away just slightly.

Sanghyuk bit his lip. “I…luh you…”

“I couldn’t hear you. I must be getting too old,” Taekwoon said innocently.

“I SAID ‘I LOVE YOU’, YOU STUPID HAMSー”

Taekwoon yanked Sanghyuk down for a proper kiss. This one was lasting and sweet. There was a simmering heat behind it that stole Sanghyuk’s breath away, and when it was over, he was dizzy. He let some of his weight fall on Taekwoon as he hugged him tight.

They slowly pulled apart, searching each other's eyes with matching smiles growing on their faces. Sanghyuk bent to kiss the smile on Taekwoon’s lips with more heat than before. Taekwoon responded, opening his mouth to Sanghyuk, their tongues sliding together softly. After several long moments, they parted so they could breathe and cool down. Taekwoon kissed Sanghyuk’s cheek and brought his mouth to his ear.

“Do you want to go on a real date this time? I want to take you to my favorite place,” Taekwoon murmured against Sanghyuk’s ear, sending a shiver down his spine. He nodded fervently. Taekwoon squeezed Sanghyuk before detangling himself from their hug and stepping away toward the door of the room. Taekwoon opened the door to leave, but paused as if a thought had occurred to him.

“By the way, Sanghyuk?” Taekwoon grinned. “I love you too.” With that, he walked out, leaving Sanghyuk to process the miracle that had just happened.

He was going to kill Taekwoon.

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by true events, hehe. Actually though. I was thinking about one of the interviews they had during...The Closer I think, and Leo said that he had to do the aegyo quickly so Hyuk wouldn't be mad later. From there the story transformed into this, and Hyuk ended up being more vulnerable than I expected. I also referenced a good 3 or so actual things that happened, so cookies for you if you caught those^^
> 
> I always appreciate comments if you want to drop me a little message~


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